Balance

Staying balanced in a moving world is a simple objective, not always easily accomplished. Our priorities shift. From time to time, some areas of our lives need attention more than others, forcing focus that should have gone elsewhere. We all do it. Where we get into trouble is when that focus becomes the focus of our lives, instead of balance becoming the focus of our lives.

At the root of balance is freedom. Freedom to choose how to live your life, make choices that work for you while keeping respect for others making their choices, too.

How balanced are these areas with each other within your lifestyle?

  • Social – including family, friends, community

  • Occupational – that is, what occupies your time? It could be revenue generating or not, volunteering or pro bono

  • Physical health – weight, strength, flexibility

  • Mental and emotional health – hobbies, interests, interaction with generational and racial diversity

  • Financial – comfort, without anxiety or insecurities that keep you awake at night

  • Spiritual – comfort with a religious presence or absence in your life, comfort with questions, comfort with nothing

Think of these principles taken from “The Village Effect” by Susan Pinker:

  • Live in a community where you know and talk to your neighbors.

  • Build real human contact into your workday. Save email for logistics. Use phone or face time for more nuanced interaction.

  • Create a village of diverse relationships. Build in social contact with members of this “village” the way you work in meals and exercise.

  • Everyone needs close human contact. Adjust the ratio of your face-to-face to screen communication according to your temperament, just as you adjust how much and what you eat according to your appetite.

  • Make parent, teacher and peer interaction the priority for preschoolers and young children. Combine live-teaching with online tools for older children and teens.

  • As more of our interactions migrate to digital platforms, face-to-face contact in education, medicine and child care has become a luxury commodity. As a fundamental human need, it should remain accessible to all.

16 Things I wish I knew at 16:

1.     My opinion of myself is always more important than anyone else’s opinion of me.

2.     The adults in my life can only teach from what they learned; it’s up to me to decide if it's right for me.

3.     Loving myself and being comfortable with who I am liberates me to love and accept others for who they are.

4.     Criticizing others for their failings is a failing.

5.     I have a right to get angry; I don’t have a right to get mean.

6.     Maturity is knowing others help me with my life, but I alone am responsible for the choices I make.

7.     If love turns to hate, it wasn’t love.

8.     I can only learn and grow if I feel safe enough and free enough to make mistakes.

9.     Courage is a gift I give myself.

10.   Prejudice confines and weakens me.

11.   There’s never a good enough reason for violence.

12.   As trust in myself grows, so does my comfort zone.

13.   Stillness isn’t boredom; it’s renewal.

14.   Giving really is better than receiving.

15.   Forgiveness takes practice.

16.   We’re all doing the best we can.